Marriage Advice every man should Know....

By Kemi Mobuse - Monday, October 23, 2017

Me, a sad man, searching for articles, no idea how to please a woman :(
I feel really, really, bad for guys sometimes. Not only does patriarchy have such a negative effect on their gender, they also do not receive as much attention and excellent guidance as we ladies do. Long before I even cared about the opposite sex, I was already being trained to understand how I must relate to them, and carry myself in certain ways that would be considered pleasing.

If I were feeling unmotivated or uninspired about how to be a good wife or how to catch a man, all i have to do is conduct a quick google search and I would immediately have a wealth of information at my disposal. I could even narrow the search down to learn the specifics of the Nigerian dynamic. Luckily, we women don’t even have to search because we are reminded and told every day of our lives. A quick search of how to be a good Nigerian husband however? Zero!Zilch! No advice at all. In fact, the few articles I found, was even more advice for women!

Man, If I were a Nigerian guy, I’d be really jealous and super pissed off.

Luckily, look at God, I’m here to help y’all out. I’ll give you the short summary “If you don’t please her, another man will” …. but if you want the fine print:

You can be wrong

Yes, yes. I know that many moons ago, God pulled aside some special men and gave them really specific details of how they are the heads and the rulers and the mighty kings and conquerors of women, but hear me out. You can be wrong sometimes. Your wife doesn’t always have to concede to your glorious choices and your unyielding decisions. You should try to listen to her often. And take her advice. You should learn to back down sometimes. Learn to compromise. Learn correct without being condescending. Learn to not feel emasculated if your woman does not agree with you. You aren’t Jesus, but merely a mortal like me.

“Quit complaining yo”

Everybody gets annoyed by nagging. A good husband should never nag his wife or she will do her best to avoid him. You’re welcome.

“Please for the love of God, maintain your looks”

If when she first met you, you were always casket sharp, Tom Ford suits, fresh cut, nicely trimmed beard or clean shaven face. Nice, toned physique, why would you change after she has married you? Now all you want to wear is Kaftans and slippers. really? The gym is a thing of the past, pot belly begins to make an appearance (you have a baby too or nah?), balding (okay fine, that is not particularly your fault, but if you have a history of male pattern baldness in the family, it doesn’t hurt to let her know on the first date). Women have eyes too, and we want to still see the sexy man we were first attracted to. Also, facials and pedicures are manly, okay? You don’t want your woman’s eyes to start roving after marriage!

“Be unpredictable”
Relationships get really boring after a while. You fall into the sameness of your routine, and most men have their routines down to a T. The last thing you want is a wife who starts to get bored with you. Be unpredictable. Don’t depend on her to maintain the romance department. Surprise her often; romantic night out, candle lit dinners, surprise trip, or maybe even shower the kids and put them to bed so she doesn’t have to :)

“Organize the house, learn to be a good manservant”

Keep your home clean and organized. Pick up your clothes, and pick up her shoes. Make her dependent on you by doing the house chores. Who is going to leave a man that wields a mean broomstick? Nobody, I’ll tell you what. She will miss you so much when you are not around, and those dishes are just sitting there in the sink not being done by anybody. She will be the absolute envy of her friends. (This is sort of a joke. You guys should share the housework. But please disabuse yourself of the notion that housework is for women. Do you want your daughters on her hands and knees scrubbing some young ass idiot’s dorm room after licking his lollipop? no you don’t)

“Show her your positive qualities”

A good husband should be pleasant at all times and try his best to not be rude. Do not antagonize her. When your wife comes home after a day of work you should have a warm smile and a welcoming attitude, especially if she has had a rough day. You should be loyal and supportive. You should always stand by her side and defend her always. No-one should ever be able to say anything negative about her in your presence. Show her some respect and you will definitely get respect back.

“Some women need their space”

You must accept that your wife had a life before you, and she still has a life other than you. She has family, friends, hobbies & passions. She did things, she has certain characteristics, she has a personality, she had other experiences, knows other people. Give her her space. Don’t stop her from living her life. If she wants to be alone, or do other things that do not concern you, it does not mean that she does not love you. It simply means that sometimes, she needs some time to herself. She will love and respect you more for your confidence.

“Learn the art of conversation”

‘Are the children asleep?’ ‘Where is xxx?’ ‘Is my food ready?’ ‘What is for dinner?’ ‘Have you called the electrician?’ ‘Where are my socks?’ ‘How much is going to cost?’ Does not a conversation make. You’re really boring bro. Learn to communicate. Talk about other things. Talk a lot. Get to really know each other so that you can communicate in a room full of people without speaking. Learn about things that interest her so you have something to talk about. Become friends with her. Women need companionship not leadership.

“You gotta put it on her”

If a woman’s sexual needs are not met it will reflect in her mood. Sorry, maybe I should have started by explicitly stating that women also have sexual needs and desires. She will be cranky. She will be uninterested in intimacy. She will be frustrated. One of the reasons women cheat is because, well, they enjoy sex. Make your wife happy in bed. You may think you do, but were you ever to hear a conversation between a bunch of women about their men’s performance in bed, you may break down into some thug tears.

“Be open with your love”

I know women are meant to be vortex of unending love, but women need to receive love too. Open and honest love. The kind where you show your feelings and express it to her in many ways. Where you remember the little things, and do the little things that show caring, affection and consideration, not just grand meaningless gestures or expensive gifts. If she believes you love her, she won’t be afraid to love you back three times harder.

“Control your temper”

This should go without saying, but allow me to say it: please learn to control yourselves. We know you are stronger than us, we do not need you to prove it. Keep your voice down. Shouting doesn’t make you macho. Keep your hands to yourself. And if you are with one of those violent women that won’t keep her hands to herself, restrain her or walk away. And don’t be with her. She needs help. If you’re constantly threatening to leave? yawn, after a while. Bye ashy.

“Stop threatening your wives”

“My husband is angry so he has stopped eating at home”. I don’t even know what to say about this. To be fair, some women are really bothered by this apparent torture tactic. I don’t get it, but please stop it. If your lovely lady has prepared a meal for you, you better eat it and enjoy it. Also, don’t forget there really isn’t anything like forensic science in Nigeria and your wife can poison you whenever she feels like. I’d be super nice to the person cooking my food. Alternatively, you should learn to cook, because you know.. hands.

You’re only doing yourself oh.

The real truth: “Accept your wife as she is”

Love and acceptance are 2 different things. Sometimes, we may love someone, but may not really know how to accept them the way they are. We might think they might change over the course of a relationship or their feelings for you should permit them to do things that are uncharacteristic for them. 

If you do not accept your wife the way she truly is, she will quickly grow tired of twisting herself a million ways trying to please you. If she is an introvert, she will not suddenly want to attend every party with you. If she is a loner, she might need you to give her space sometimes, if she loves to party, don’t expect her to desire to stay in every weekend, if she is brash and outspoken she cannot suddenly mute herself for worry of embarrassing you, If she was a flirt, she likely might still carry on with some harmless flirting, and .. you get the picture. 

Some women do not like the things you think they should like. Some will never be great cooks, some cannot stand a dirty diaper, Some will never be overly affectionate and some do not want to cuddle at night. 

Learn to know who you are with, what makes her tick, her likes and dislikes, her personality, her characteristics, and accept her for who she is. This does not mean we cannot learn to compromise, but expecting someone to change simply because “YA MY WYF”, is not good enough.
“A perfect husband is one who does not expect a perfect wife”

I feel like men have been set up. You’ve been taught to expect a lot from women. All your lives you’ve been told that women are really really grateful that you have ‘put a ring on it’ and are excited for their chance to compete in the wife Olympics. 

They are eager for you to scrub your memory of any shred of capability you ever had so you can relax while they enjoy juggling everything. If you are the bread winner, surely that should be enough? Alas, no. A good man should try to be his wife’s ‘help meet’ in every way that he can. He should understand that his wife is simply like him; she gets tired too. She gets bored too. She does not want to shoulder the burden of all the house work and all the child care and feeding the entire family as well as working. She will get burnt out, too. She has sexual desire too. Sometimes, it was just physical, too. Sometimes she wants to be alone, too. Sometimes, she needs you to take the reins, too. She has ambition too. She can be detached from her kids too. She wants to work for hours without having to think about you or the kids, too.

She is human, just like you.

If you make your woman exhausted, in more ways that one, physically and emotionally drained, she will switch off. She will become indifferent to you. She will learn to not need or want you.

This entire article is obviously tongue -in-cheek, but I do wish people would stop inundating women with loads of crappy advice about how to please men and be better mothers.

****Original Article by Ozzy Etomi****

While on that, this below is something to read too, it sums up all the above into few sentences.....

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